Getting to Know You - The TAO of Human Relations

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you, getting to like you, getting to hope you like me is a show tune of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Musical Production, the King and I. It will establish the foundation for the Tao of Human Relations.

The Tao of Human Relations asserts human relationships do not differ from the produce of gardens. When planters of gardens move in harmony with seed, soil, water and conditions; plants have opportunity to grow to full blossom and harvest. When planters of human relationships move in harmony with the seed, soil, and water in human connections context, human relationships have opportunity to grow to full blossom and harvest.

The Tao is a Chinese philosophical approach to understanding life that considers the underlying principle underlying the universe, combining within itself the principles of yin and yang and signifying the way, or code of behavior, that is in harmony with the natural order.

Simply put, everything begins with the seed. Seed is not educated in universities. It does not matter which came first seed or harvest producing more seed. Seed comes to us from the harvest of ancestral generations. Ancestral generations producing the most efficient and abundant growth have their seed, as well as their fruit, harvested and the circle of life continues.

People all over Planet Earth all the time seek how to actually benefit from understanding the Tao of Human Relations. Humans want to get to know each other because enjoyable human contact gives meaning to personal and professional social life. Once a how–to approach is established, the probability for successful outcomes increase and people have more control over input and outcome.

Some of our intimate personal and organizational professional relationships happen by the incident but we still need information and a how-to approach. They are not intentional because we did not seek them out. We meet some in the events of our day to day managing our personal, social or professional life. Sometimes these incidental relationships become seeds in themselves. Properly cared for with intentional attention of good soil (time spent together creating opportunities for the experience of meaning and joy}, water (the intentional gift and demonstration of care), and conditions (environment for personal and professional relationships to grow) can prove to be rewarding connections adding significant meaning and feel good happiness to life.

Some of our intimate personal and organizational professional relationships happen through the design of our intention. We prepare ourselves through intentional personal and professional development to have something of quality to offer to one special individual or to an organization we determine to be a good fit. They are intentional because we did seek them out and prepared ourselves to nurture the potential connections to full harvest equal to or greater than the intention of our expectations for ourselves and our loved others.

These are the choices before us as we live out the Tao of Human Relations. For relationships to be purely organic, the right conditions must be in place for the harmony of seed, soil, water, and conditions. This can happen incidentally or intentionally. Either way, preparation is necessary to be ready for best case conditions to have the opportunity to yield the harvest of personal or professional relationships that are meaningful and fulfilling.

Emancipating Me

Today begins a new venture and an adventure into healing, I did not see coming. I was inspired on Friday night after reading another’s work. @katedenae on Instagram shared with her readers that most of our social media posts share the high sides of our lives, the exciting moments the feel good moments. She asserted that we likely do not share our darker painful moments because we really do not want anyone to know.

I was inspired because I know the costs and consequences of holding on to our painful stories and their effect on mental health. I know by professional practice as I have worked with hundreds of people to seize their freedom and claim their personal power by sharing their stories of pain.

There is growth in the sharing and we discover that we are not alone, that our experience is not the exception but more the rule. I know this reality. This is real to me because it is personal. I too survived my own painful story to share it and allow my own healing to begin more than 30 years ago. I will come back to that in a moment. I am also a believe that God never wastes our hurts but redeems them to ur benefit and the benefit of others.

I reached out to my close friend @anndoquotes.inspire on Instagram to consider the possibility of our collaboration to inspire others with painful pasts to tell their stories to accomplish these things. 

1. That telling their stories might help encourage themselves and others to discover they are not alone. 
2. That telling their stories can be the beginning of their healing from their past hurts continuing to live in them as emotional pain and Post – Traumatic Stress Disorder. 
3. That telling our stories can help to generate a massive experience of healing among people suffering the lingering effects of painful pasts.

In graduate school, I wrote a paper entitled Emancipation to Becoming. In my mid – 30’s, I had begun intense reflection of my experience. I realized I had not become all I had the potential to become because I carried so much pain and anger. When I was not angry, I was depressed.

To make it worse, I was a master of disguise. My parental programming and social experience as a multi-cultural being in the segregated 1950’s had not lent itself to self – expression. My upbringing had not included having feelings and if I did, they certainly were not to be expressed.

I begin with the end of this tragedy to inspire hope. On a visit to my home when I was 35, the time had come to speak to my past to create a new present and a new future. My beloved parents that had beat me like I was an animal as a child began to speak to me as if I was that little boy and teenager they used to beat.

I made an announcement that night while we sat at the kitchen table that if both of them did not immediately apologize for the inhuman treatment of my childhood and adolescence I was never coming to the place I called home ever again. My mother immediately apologized. My father was slower but did also. The relationship with my family changed that night because I had changed. I had evolved dedicated to no longer being captive to the past.

Since that moment I have been involved in the continued development of my healing ad that of as many others as I might reach. To that end, @annndoquotes.inspire and I launch Emancipating Me on social media to reach as many people as possible with the possibility of not only their healing but as many others as they may reach.

This week of August 27, 2018 through August 31^st, we dedicate the next five days to post short installments of our stories to invite and encourage others to do the same. This is for you if you yet suffer the lingering effects of past painful experiences as children, teens or adults. Let this become your moment to emancipate yourself and free yourself from the prison hell of your past. Don’t you want to be free to feel good about yourself and love the life you have the possibilities to create? We hope and pray you do. This is our time. This is your time. This is Emancipating Me time.

Follow our work on Instagram. Our hashtag is #emancipatingme. The mission of Emancipating Me is to provide opportunity to help hurting people heal. 

Share your stories with us on Instagram @anndoquotes.inspire and @oscarcrawfordmedia or email to info@oscarcrawfordmedia.com to dialogue with either of us. What we sow together, we grow together.

The Power of a Contagious Smile

Smiling is the most significant thing you can do to make the world a better place when we have no idea what to do or what to say.  Support for this point of view appears in an article written June 25, 2012 when Guest Blogger Sarah Stevenson reported in Psychology Today entitled, “There is Joy in Your Smile – How Smiling Affects Your Brain.”

One of the things others have noted about me throughout my career is that when I enter a room to meet and greet people for the first time or to take the stage to lead a workshop or speak to an audience, the consistent observation is that my smile speaks volumes before I open my mouth. 

Reports indicate my smile puts people at ease, makes them comfortable, and prepare them to welcome what I am present to share.

Does science support that our smiles are simple gifts to feel good and be at ease for others and ourselves? Stevenson reports that practitioners of scientific research and spiritual traditions acknowledge the smile has the power to change people and people in their orbit.

The smile is contagious. It is a viral event. When someone smiles, most people immediately smile in response.

Smiles do not only lift our moods but also the persons receiving our smiles. Our smiles make us more appealing. The simple act of smiling has the power to lengthen our lives. Smile Everybody Smile!

Smiling activates brain chemicals called neuropeptides. They include the feel good neurotransmitters dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin. When we smile, they relax our bodies and lower our blood pressures. Serotonin’s release acts as a mood bosting antidepressant.

The power of the smile benefits the one that smiles and the one or ones noticing or receiving the smile. Smiles are therefore mutually beneficial. We become more attractive when we smile and people treat us with higher levels of courtesy and respect. We position ourselves to experience better health and longer life. Smiling is the most significant thing we can do to make the world a better place when we have no idea what to do or what to say.  

Awakened Love

People awakened to love do not need prompts to show love to people, animals, or nature. Love is like breath to the awakened. They must. It is their moral imperative. The awakened give love and show love with every opportunity. It is what the awakened do. Two types of the awakened to love exist.

Type One

These are born awakened. They become the human angels amongst us. Their love is natural.

This esteemed few are they that are born with sensitive hearts and an insatiable desire to love as many people, animals, and nature’s life forms as possible. They care for stray people, stray animals, and the gifts of nature, flowers, trees, and waters.

These spend their last money to buy food and clothes to clothe and feed other people. They model love for all. Regard for others and their needs consume their thoughts. They focus on how to make the lives of others better.

Type Two

These survive their formative years in the fires of hell. They awaken from the brutal experiences of emotional and physical suffering while children and teens. Acts of violence was their normal experience growing up at home and school. The lingering effects of their traumatic and inhumane experiences produced scars on their bodies and minds.

Having survived significant pain, they worked on accomplishing their own healing sufficient to assert themselves to help others surviving similar experiences to heal and prepare for love. They awakened to embody everything good they did not receive in their childhood and teen development. They commit their lives to loving as many people, animals, and life forms of nature as possible.

Relationships of Types One and Two

Ones attract other ones for relationship though they may feel called to love wounded others to wholeness. When ones join, both center on loving each other for the sake of shared joy. They mutually further empower each other at all times. Beyond their relationship, they focus on ways to provide love and care to others living without things that are necessary for life.

Twos attract other twos for relationship. Because both have survived their physical and emotional wounds, when two join, their first order of business is nurturing each other. They intentionally give to each other in ways that fulfill each other and know emotional security.

Few are ones. Many more are twos. What happens if you do not have a sense of awakening to love? Is it possible to awaken to love?

If no clear awareness exists of being a one or a two, pass no judgment on yourself. Love begins with the desire to love and receive love. Loving life, loving self, loving others, and loving all life and creation serve as prerequisite to receiving love.

We receive all the love we want when we give away all the love we need. Whether you are a one or two, love is your privilege and your choice. When we intentionally love because love is the right thing to do, we attract love.

Four Fabulous Guests

Listen to my latest fabulous four guests on Let's Talk About Love.

August 10, 2018 Click to Listen to 
Carol (FOX C) Culley from London, Host of the Soul Kitchen on 246bajanvibesradio


August 3, 2018 Click to Listen to Melanie Redd from the Minsitry of Hope

July 27, 2018 Click to Listen to Prudence Kalloo Rasing Your Vibrations

July 20, 2018 Click to Listen to Freedom Pearson from Freedom of You

Enrich your living experience when you listen to Carol (FOX C) Culley, top left, Melanie Redd, top right, Prudence Kalloo, bottom left, and Freedom Pearson, bottom right.

How to Know the Difference between Love and Relationship

We can learn how to recognize the differences between love and relationship. They are the intention, desire, negotiation, the deal, and the awakening. This is what love is. This is what love is not.

Intention

An intention precedes the decision to a course of action. Desire is a hunger for a person, place, or thing. Intention requires the desire to achieve a hoped-for experience that will end in profit and feel good. A deal is the result of an agreement of an individual with herself or himself or with another or others. Awakening is the result of an inward grace of enlightenment to love without conditions and prejudice.

Relationship

Relationship results from the discovery of shared interests with another or others. Individuals reveal the details of their hopes and dreams. Negotiation begins to what each will contribute to the achievement of considered goals. A proposal follows each participant must consider before a covenant agreement reached. If the agreement becomes formal, a mission statement with standards for activity goes into effect. Each may now immediately begin to share in the works and the benefits of their covenant relationship.

Love

An awakening is the result of an inward grace of enlightenment to love without conditions and prejudice. Love is an intense and awakened awareness of the needs and privileges to demonstrate care and appreciation for self, others, and life. Love calls us to our highest level of conscious awareness to give of ourselves to the people liberation and empowerment. Our internal worlds, our hearts enlarge.

Quality of relationship is possible among individuals, couples, or groups sharing common interests, established standards for activity, and agreement to manage responsibilities contributing to defined goals. Desired outcomes prompt highest-level performance of responsibilities. Success requires the highest-level contribution of all participants in the established sequence of activities and events.

Love is a consciousness of caring for self, others, and all of life without judgment. This is what love is. Love is not transactional. Love does not negotiate for a quid pro quo. This is what love is not. Love is the desired intention to love without condition in ways that care for self, others, and life. Love knows no other way.

Pray you experience the relationship of shared awakened love. It will liberate you, empower you, give to you, and share the joys of the good times with you and the not so good times with you.

Center your hopes on living the awakened love as the foundation of all your relationships. May awakened love be the energy of your coupled and shared love from moment to moment all of your life. Live in it with all your consciousness and be happy. Be happy.

We can learn how to recognize the differences between love and relationship. They are intention, desire, negotiation, the deal, and the awakening. This is what love is. This is what love is not.

If I Could Give You a Gift Today July 29, 2018

Mission Statement and Standards

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” ~Benjamin Franklin           

People with a developed and clear mission statement and established defined standards that are both observable and measureable have a greater chance for success that people without plans. Dr. Robert Schuller, the Founder of the former Crystal Cathedral built on Benjamin Franklin’s quote by teaching, ‘failing to plan is planning to fail’.

Occasionally, we should have a conversation with ourselves to determine if we are on task to accomplish our goals. A practical approach begins with setting aside time to examine whether or not we are accomplishing the goals of our mission.

Establishing our personal mission statement with a set of standards to accomplish our mission can prove to be a valuable asset. A mission statement and standards provide a guide that can be assessed regular to monitor whether or not we are meeting our own standards.

By definition, a mission statement is a clear declaration of the intentional and on purpose activity of a company, organization, or individual to achieve established and defined goals. The late Peter Drucker, non- profit guru asserted a mission statement should be no longer than one clear sentence. More than one sentence suggests a lack of mission clarity. Drucker was an Austrian-born American management consultant, educator, and author, whose writings contributed to the philosophical and practical foundations of the modern business corporation.

Drucker's books, plus his scholarly and popular articles explored how humans are organized across the business, government, and non-profit sectors of society. He is one of the best-known and most widely influential thinkers and writers on the subject of management theory and practice. His writings have predicted many of the major developments of the late twentieth century, including privatization and decentralization; the rise of Japan to economic world power; the decisive importance of marketing; and the emergence of the information society with its necessity of lifelong learning.

            I am sharing my mission statement and samples from my set of standards. My mission statement follows.

  

            Mission Statement: My mission is to help women, men, and children heal from their hurts and prepare for love.

Standards: Standards to follow establish and identify the activity I commit to the accomplishment of to achieve my mission. Remember that an identified standard must be measurable and observable in time. My examples follow.

Standard Number 1 - I will get up at 5 AM every morning.

Standard Number 2 - I will spend 30 minutes quiet time alone as soon as I get up.

Standard Number 3 - I consult my daily planner for the day's plan.

Standard Number 4 - I will shower daily at 630 AM.

Standard Number 5 - I will eat breakfast for 7 AM

Standard Number 6 -            I will read for 30 minutes at 8 AM.

Standard Number 7 - I will walk for 30 minutes at 830 AM

Standard Number 8 - I will engage clients for 4 hours 9 AM.

Standard Number 9 - I will review my day and checklist standards met at 9 PM.

Standard Number 10 - I will be in bed by 10 PM.

            With an established checklist at hand, monitor your daily activity. If standards consistently not met, adjustments may be in order. The path to success is to work the plan and make adjustment as necessary to stay on track to accomplish goals.  I am not suggesting this will be easy especially if you have never worked this process. I am clearly saying to you that with a mission statement and standards for achieving your goals, your chances for success are exponentially greater than they would be without a plan. 

            If you would value help designing and defining your mission statements and developing your standards, email me at info@oscarcrawfordmedia.com.

            What we sow together, we grow together.

           

Just Loving

Why You Need to Know the Value of the 35-Year-Old Woman

Why you need to know the value of the 35-year-old woman? She is resilient, determined, and clear about her needs, wants, and priorities.

For more than 30 years, my work and service targets the delivery of personal and professional development services to the 35-year-old woman. Because the target is always moving with only the faces changing, the issues remain the same. Among the findings are:

1.      7 in 10 women age 35 have experienced sexual violence in the form of incest rape as children and teens at the hands of family, family friends, or professional adults.

2.      2+ marriages and divorces

3.      2+ children

4.      2 – 4 years post - secondary education

5.      Sole provider for the support of family and children

6.      Suffers from PTSD

7.      10 – 20 pounds overweight

My observation and engagement of this 35-year-old woman establishes that she has an awakening moment that speaks to her and prompts her to action to reorient her present and future life.  After asking herself if the earlier experiences of sexual violence have affected her personal and professional development, she arrives at a resounding YES.

Upon her awakening, she seeks counseling to deal with the experience of sexual violence earlier in her life. A fuller engagement of herself as a person follows along with fuller engagement of her children. Positive human relations techniques become the approach to personal, child, and professional development.

She becomes her priority becoming aware she cannot really provide best-case care to others until she makes sure she provides that to herself. Subsequent to counseling to deal with the after effects of hostile treatment earlier in life, a much more assertive person emerges positioned to manage personal and professional relationships more effectively. Take her serious or do not take her at all.

The other side of this perspective of the 35-year-old woman is the market drive, political and cultural demographics that make her the pawn swing voter to win elections.  Journalists Emilie McMeekan and Annabel Rivkin describe this new tribe of women aged 35-55 in their work, The Rise of the Midult, as midults.

The Midult is being described as more than just a demographic but a movement and a mindset. And the 35-55 year old woman is one of the most powerful consumer groups. In the UK, 8 million women fall into this category and, according to The Midult team, women drive an estimated 70-80% of consumer spending globally. However, many midult women feel they get overlooked and misunderstood by brands and media outlets.

According to Emilie McMeekan , co-founder of The Midult, “Midults are a unique combination of digitally literate, hyper-connected and financially confident, they are the first generation to grow old without checking out. We are the healthiest, wealthiest and most active generation of women in history. Ignore us at your peril.”

Both these 35-year-old women co – exist and simultaneously exist. One gets the life sucked out of her because she is successful with money to spend and a vote to cast. The other has struggled to manage emotional survival. She is discounted, disregarded, and not invited to make media soundbytes for politicians and popular movements. She should be the poster image of the Metoo Movement.

How can we embrace women that have suffered and experienced intolerable harm in such ways to facilitate their healing sooner more effectively? When we answer that question, our culture will have moved inches towards justice for women and emotional wholeness of culture. A culture that turns its back on its girls and women can come to no good end.

You need to know the value of the 35-year-old woman. She is resilient, determined, and clear about her priorities, about her needs, and her wants.

Join the conversation. Your questions and comments may bring forward an enlightening moment. You are welcome. By loving each other enough to help each other recover and heal, we build a better individual woman or man, girl or boy, one relationship at a time.

Rebroadcast of WHY MEN LIE - Love and Come Alive Podcast May 23, 2018

10 years ago I was a guest on Sethina.....iLoveTalk: In the Minds of Men Show on Blogtralkradio.

Today’s Love and Come Alive Podcast is a rebroadcast of her show focused on WHY MEN LIE at http://bit.ly/whydomenlie''

Get this week's blogpost What Women Wish Men Knew http://bit.ly/whatwomenwishmenknew

Women wish men understood that women know men and the kind of men they want to be involved with for romantic and long – term relationships. Women want to be involved with adult mature men that can manage three primary behaviors in intentional committed long - term relationship. Women want to be involved with a man that will be open and honest with them. Women want to be involved with a man that values their worth. Women want to be involved with a man that affirms and empowers them to become the best version of themselves possible. These are prerequisite to a shared authentic love.

 #lovetips #loveideas #mondaythoughts #mondaylove #makelove #loveadvice #lovedirectioners #lovetherapy #arousal #sexyfit #sexylook #sexywomans #sexymans #lovequotesforhim #lovequotesforher #courting #courtship #courshipdating #tantra #tantrasex #marriagegoals #tantric #inlovequotes #hint #romances #feelingloved #lovefeelings #attractlove #lovetouch #olove

Love and Come Alive Podcast May 16, 2018 - New Opportunities to Love

After you have done the work of dealing with your demons, slaying your dragons of hurt, disappointment, pain, and anger, got your PTSD in check, forgiven all that have harmed you, and moved on from your arrested development, you are now ready to position yourself for NEW OPPORTUNITIES TO LOVE.

West African Proverbs direct us to accept, understand, and realize; we can only begin anew from right where we are. Ancient Chinese Proverbs of Lao Tzu says the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

New Opportunties to Love prompts all of us that must begin again not be overwhelmed. We can only make and take our first step no from where we will be or might be. We can only take our new step from right where we are.

For more information, email info@oscarcrawfordmedia.com

The Love and Come Alive Podcast for May 9, 2018

Liberation to Love and Come Alive

To be free to be self - determining to pursue one’s own interests is ideal. To know love while doing so is surreal. ~Magi Aata

To love and come alive is to experience a resurrection, the experience of moving from what seemed like an eternal prison of still sad death to a life energized with

enthusiasm, excitement and feel good. Many if not most of us have had experiences of love and relationship end in disappointment and heartbreak. It is a human right of

passage. How do we manage our sadness and sorrows to live again and love again? How do we experience our cocoon moments from caterpillar to butterfly? How do we

love and come alive?

Complete Blogpost at http://bit.ly/liberationtolove

The Love and Come Alive Podcast for May 2, 2018

To become free of the past and the power it holds over us, we put dynamite on the doors of our self - imposed cages by blowing them off with acts of forgiveness. How can we forgive the persons that caused us so much pain?

It is not to let them off the hook. We do not say that what they did to us that harmed us physically and emotionally was OK. It was not. We forgive them to detach from the emotional experiences to move on without the continuing influence of their painful presence. We intentionally free our minds not to think on these things and the pain they caused. for the complete blogpost and additional resources, follow this link http://bit.ly/2JCXdYI

The Love and Come Alive Podcast for April 25, 2018 The Retreat

Today's LOVE AND COME ALIVE Podcast focuses on the retreat to beheld at the tonto Creek Camp in the tonto NATIONAL FOREST near Payson, Arizona October 1st - 5th. For all that come together to share the week, you will experience Soul Repair, Daily Meditation, Daily Forest Therapy, Daily Professionals speaking by SKYPE to Health and Wellness, Writing and Book Marketing, Evening Celebrations, and Group Talk.

Join us as we sow together and grow together. Join us as we make new friends and build new relationships. Join us as we work together to Love and Come Alive.
Sign up for the People Builder Network Magazine at bit.ly/2tbjicQ  The May Edition is dedicated to the Love and Come Alive Retreat.

Love and Come Alive Podcast

Welcome to the new home of the Love and Come Alive Podcast.

Today's Edition is entitled 

ADMIT THE NEED TO HEAL, PART TWO

After last week’s blog post, there was interest in how people get emotionally stuck. You learned last week that traumas in early development before and during adolescence can emotionally freeze emotional development. Women and men affected can be fully grown biological adult behaving as children or teens.

Ann Rufus comments in Psychology Today, December 18, 2008, “Some of us look grown up but aren't. We walk around with suits and briefcases and car keys and annuities. But inside, we are five. Ten. Twelve. Sixteen. We sit in boardrooms, travel the world, even write books. But we are kids, still playing dress-up, playing house.

email: oscarcrawfordmedia@gmail.com